


Somewhere In Between

by supremeoverlordkat



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Right now its angsty, Still kinda sad, TLJ Spoilers, but yet still no smut, hopefully to get happier, it has gotten happier, smut later hopefully, still no smut yet, we’ll see if im ever brave enough to write any
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-02-24 11:43:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13213023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supremeoverlordkat/pseuds/supremeoverlordkat
Summary: “Ben.”He wasn’t expecting her, not now, not when she had just shut him out. No, he couldn’t face her like this. Not yet. He cannot defend himself here. Not from the way she sees him. His soul. His weakness.”Kylo Ren is confused, Rey just wants him back. They always meet in the plane in between.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is the first fanfic I’ve written since I was 16 so I hope you like it!

Kylo was alone in his mind for the first time he could remember. Always looming was Snoke, twisting his thoughts and feelings against everyone and everything he’d known. But Snoke was gone, he’d killed him with his own hand. All because of… her. 

She was the only thing that had ever existed in his mind besides the pressure of his master. She was the light he craved, the love and acceptance he had been denied for his entire life. And she had just shut him out...

When he needed her most she had vanished faster than the cruiser when it crashed into his fleet. The stability she offered was gone, and it showed in everything he did. 

The battle on Crait was a disaster, but that was partly due to his own weakness. No matter how much he sacrificed, the past just wouldn’t die. No matter what he did, he still clung to it as he would cling to his mother's leg as a boy. And it would destroy him if he didn’t figure out how to crush it. 

“Supreme Leader,” Not that snivelling weasel again. “How should we proceed?” 

“We should strip the planet of everything useful to our cause. Then plan a search of the Outer Rim. The Resistance will flee to where they can disappear. Where they think they have allies. And look into finding a replacement for Phasma.” 

“Anything else, Supreme Leader?” 

“That is all, Hux. You are dismissed,” he waved a hand towards the door, hoping for once the whining general would follow orders. 

“But what of the girl, Supreme Leader?” 

Suddenly Kylo’s hand shot in front of him. The general was turning blue rather quickly this time. He would mention her. Just as he was trying to forget that she even existed. The fool did not know how to hold his tongue. 

“The girl is none of your concern, General.” he hissed out. She was his problem, no one else could handle her. 

“But she killed Snoke-“ Hux lost the ability to talk as Kylo squeezed his fist tighter. 

“Must I repeat myself, General? I will not be questioned when it comes to her.” He loosened his grip just enough for him to answer. Hopefully he’d learn that she is not to be mentioned 

“No, Supreme Leader.”

“Then you are dismissed, General. Don’t test me again.” He let the snivelling coward drop to the floor with a thump. Watching him have to catch his breath on the floor before scrambling to leave the throne room was a pleasing experience to say the least. He could finally make Hux respect him instead of being undermined at every turn. 

Now he had to prioritize. Though the leadership was obviously lacking in his generals, the money from Snoke transferred directly to him, as his “heir apparent,” so there weren’t any financial struggles to speak of. 

But Kylo had not been prepared lead quite yet. Especially alone. He had thought that… she would stand by his side. She had refused him, and he was at the top, alone. No wonder Snoke refused to care about anything but power. He cared too much, and it was still tearing him apart. 

“Ben.” 

He wasn’t expecting her, not now, not when she had just shut him out. No, he couldn’t face her like this. Not yet. He cannot defend himself here. Not from the way she sees him. His soul. His weakness. 

“I don’t know if you got the memo, but my name hasn’t been Ben in a long time. I am Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order now.” He couldn’t handle that name. Not from her lips. The way she said it, the way she looked at him when she said it, made him want to crawl in her arms and be Ben again. He couldn’t be Ben, he was too weak to do anything close to leading. 

… But Kylo Ren couldn’t lead either. 

“We both know that Ben is not gone. I see him in your face right now. He’s there, and he’s lonely. But I’ll always be here for him.” 

“Well I can’t be that boy anymore. Too much has happened.” 

“Maybe so, but you are not fully Kylo Ren either.” She was so certain in him. In a way no one was before her. Not his family, not Snoke. If only she could be sure in Kylo Ren the way she was in Ben Solo. 

“Ah, while you cling to the light in me, I am mesmerized by the darkness in you;” he mused, a small smile gracing his features. She shook her head and smiled back. 

“You cannot hide the truth from me, Ben Solo. While you love the potential I have for darkness, you are just as blinded by my light.” She knew him too well, while most of her remained a mystery to him. What she wanted from the force, from life, from him. He would give it all to her. He’d give her everything… except Ben Solo. 

He would not return to that naive, trusting fool he was. The only thing for him down that path was pain and suffering. The constant broken heart of a broken boy. 

Yet was this if not that very same situation? He could have her, he could have peace, he could ha- 

No. He had worked too hard to get here. He couldn't give up what he’s strived for for years, not for a girl. 

Then he felt her hand, and noticed she had moved to be right in front of him. She was looking up at him with those eyes that made him want to crumble. And her hand was touching his face, touching the scar she gave him. 

“Rey,” he rasped out, not able to say anything more. Her light was surrounding him, burning him, forgiving him. Felt felt more at peace in this moment than he had ever felt before. 

“You will come back to me Ben Solo. I have seen it. You will come home.” 

And then she vanished into the force. And he was once again Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we see what Rey is thinking a bit, and Poe is very friendzoned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heres chapter 2! I caved in to my sweet side a little at the end.

Chapter Two: 

It had been a week since she had seen him, but she would still reach up like he was there, solid beneath her hand as she touched his scar. He had been so pale, the dark circles under his eyes looked almost permanent. He looked haunted. And in a way he was. By her. She contemplated on it as she stared at the sun setting over the lake on Takodana. 

With their limited supplies, they’d had to run to the only place they knew would help. Maz welcomed them with open arms, if not without her reservations. But she helped them in her hour of need nonetheless. The Resistance had found a place to regroup. 

Rey loved the cause of the Resistance. To fight for the people, to free them from tyranny, and to stand up to the oppression of the First Order. Freedom, justice, and truth seemed like great things to fight for. But nothing is ever that simple. 

The reality was very different. While Leia welcomed her, Finn embraced her as the friend he missed, everyone else was… off. 

Poe was a little too nice to her. While he wasn’t pushy about it, it made her highly uncomfortable. He wanted something from her that she could never give him. Not while there was still hope for Ben. 

And Rose, sweet Rose. While she liked the girl, and was happy her friend had found someone so genuine and happy to share his life with, she was a little much. She, along with half of the base, hero worshipped her. 

What had Rey ever done deserve this amount of praise she didn’t know. She fell in love with their enemy for force’s sake. But they all looked at her like the little scavenger from Jakku was going to single handedly stop the First Order with only her lightsaber. She didn’t even know what she was doing half the time. She needed a teacher. But there were none left. Except for one. 

But she would not go to him. Not while he was Kylo Ren. Even if by his side was the only place she didn’t feel alone anymore. The one place she felt she belonged. She wanted nothing more than to run to him, but ruling the galaxy was not the way to balance. Anyway, he called her nothing. Why would she want to be nothing when to these people she was something? 

But not to me. The back half of his speech came to her clear as day. If she was honest, she knew what he meant. She did come from nothing. But she became something. She became hope. She became the spark. And she did it on her own. 

While she didn’t have a legacy to stand on, all Ben’s legacy seemed to do was weigh him down and crush him until he didn’t know who he was anymore. And Rey could always see the broken, unsure boy underneath. And how he mirrored the unsure girl she was so well. They were both so lost. Always chasing after the love and approval they could never find, except for in each other. But she had chosen her path now, and she would not stray from it. Not even for him. 

She startled as she heard a knock on the door Maz had given her. She set her up in a room in its own hall, so she could have peace to meditate and study the force. 

“Come in,” she stated, nervous about who exactly was on the other side and what they wanted. She was drained, and she had nothing more to give them. Not today. Not when she had finally seen him for the first time since she shut the door on him. 

Poe entered, looking sheepish yet confident in the way only he knew how. He smiled, and leaned against the door. 

“Hey, what are you doing up here by yourself?” he asked, his smile turning into a smirk. 

“I’m busy meditating, and reading the Ancient Jedi Texts. I’ve got a lightsaber to build you know.” She joked, but all she wanted him to do was leave her in peace. 

“Oh, well, if you wanted to take a break from that, a few of us are going down to the cantina, give the locals an unexpected party.” He told her, stepping into her room, her space, and sat in her desk chair. 

“Seriously, I’m fine, I’ve got a lot to do and I can’t really stop being connected to the force, so I really need to focus on my studies at this point. Thank you for inviting me though.” She smiled at him, but she didn’t mean it. She just wanted some peace, and maybe to sleep off the day. 

“Okay, well the invitation’s always open, and Finn misses you. So does BB-8.” He got up to leave, pausing in the doorway. “Don’t isolate yourself completely, kid. It’ll only serve to make you feel more alone.” 

“If I say I’ll go out tomorrow with everyone will you leave me alone?” She sighed out, impatient. 

“For now. But I will be back tomorrow to collect you. Get some sleep, you look like you need it.” He smiled one more time before closing the door. 

Rey sighed in relief, and settled into her bed. She was exhausted, and ready to fall so deeply asleep she wouldn’t wake up until the sun outside was about to rise. 

Then she felt it, the hum, the pull, Ben. 

Thankfully, when she turned to face him, he was asleep on the other side of her mattress. His body was turned to the side, his face more peaceful than she had ever seen it, his chest slowly falling and rising. The dark circles around his eyes still looked bad, and worry lines were starting to permanently cut into his forehead, but for once he seemed at peace.

Rey thanked the force that she wouldn’t have to talk to him. The first time after Crait was hard enough. But she pressed her back against his, and settled in until she was comfortable. 

“Wha- Rey? What’s happening?” He asked. His voice was soft, sleepy. Quite the contrast from the last time she had seen him. 

“Shh- it’s okay Ben. We’re just going to back sleep. The force it seems won’t let us sleep alone.” She jumped slightly as he put his arm around her, but settled again as he pulled her to him. 

“Okay G-night, sweetheart.” He whispered as he fell back asleep. She may not get to be with him, but she would give herself tonight. 

“Goodnight, Ben,” she let her eyes drift. Just for tonight, maybe she could just be Rey and he could just be Ben and their reputations or sides wouldn’t matter. Just for tonight. 

When she woke up in the morning he was gone, and she had had the best night’s sleep she’d ever gotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there it is! Hopefully it made sense


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all we’re back with your fave angsty boi™️ Hes a sucker for Rey

Kylo Ren had been on a rampage for the last week. At least three of the janitorial closets had been destroyed, along with five different monitoring panels had become lightsaber fodder. No one knew what had happened to their Supreme Leader. 

It was her. He had gone to sleep alone, and he had woken up with the smell of her hair in his nose and the feel of her in his arms. 

It was everything he wanted, and a mockery of everything he’d never have. He knew that the only way he’d have her next to him is if he left behind everything he worked for, fought for, gave up everything for. And even so he still almost wanted to throw it all away just to hold her again. 

This was a trick. She was trying to fool him into breaking and running to her. He would not be swayed. This is where he was supposed to be. 

What he had no patience for was this meeting Hux had him in. There were more pressing things to worry about than officers perks. The opulence and money hungry upper ranks of the First Order didn’t really matter to him. He was at the top, and what the underlings wanted he didn't care about, as long as they did their jobs. But there was no reason to focus on that when the galaxy was still in shambles and the fleet was still getting repairs. 

And they wanted to focus on paid vacations for admirals and above to go to Canto Bight for a month at a time. While stormtroopers had to work their entire lives away. 

He’d never liked the way politicians treated those under them. Not with the Republic and not in the First Order.  
Yet here he was in control of the entire structure. He could stop whatever he wanted. 

“Enough,” as he stood up so did the rest of generals, and Hux finally stopped speaking. “This talk of wasting resources while we have to rebuild our fleet from scratch is useless. You will get 8 weeks of total vacation time a year, and everyone under you will get at least 3 weeks. Until this problem is solved, there will be little time for perks until we are running at full capacity,” he swept his hand towards the door, ready to be alone. “You are all dismissed.” 

Everyone else filed out immediately, yet Hux stayed behind. He always stayed behind. He always stayed behind.  
“Supreme Leader, speaking of conserving for the war effort, we need to talk about the cost of your… fits,” 

“They have been solved, we will speak of it later, Hux.” Kylo was annoyed. The general never took the hint. But maybe, if Kylo threw him a bone, he’d get some measure of peace. 

“But, Supreme Leader-“ 

“I said we’d discuss it later, Grand Marshall. Unless you’d like to back to General?” He smiled at the glee on the other man’s face. He had him right where he wanted him. 

“No sir, not at all. We’ll discuss this later, and I’ll have the cost estimates prepared tomorrow,” the Grand Marshall was immediately more compliant under the promotion. 

“Excellent, we’ll plan the official ceremony for next week,” with that, the grand marshall was out of his office with a flourish, and Kylo had solved one of his biggest problems. 

There was still her to deal with, he thought as he walked back to his quarters. He craved her more than anything and loathed her with every fiber of his being. They could have everything if she could only see what he truly offered her. But she was so attached to light, even though she was the supernova, and even the force could not help but to be awed by her resilience and hope in the galaxy. 

That was the biggest problem. In her presence he could not help but cave into her light like he caves into her embrace. And it would destroy them both. 

As thinking of her seems to summon her, she appeared, laying face down on the bed. She took up most of it, sprawled out on her own, he assumed, but she didn’t seem to be asleep. He heard quiet sniffles coming from her, like she had been crying.

“Rey? Are you okay?” he asked, his worry and curiosity getting the better of his common sense yet again. He could not leave her in such pain. No matter how much pain it caused him. 

One moment she was just looking up at his sudden entrance, tears running down her face and her eyes abnormally red. The next moment she was in his arms. 

“Ben, I can’t be who they want.” She sobbed, clinging to his shirt like it was her only lifeline. He’d never seen her so upset before, he didn’t know what to do other than wrap her arms around her. She was always his most powerful weakness. He could not resist giving her what she wanted, dreaming or awake.

“Hey now, you’re fine,” he paused as he got a sniff of her hair. “Wait, are you drunk?” He asked, surprised that she’d been drinking. It wasn’t her usual style.

“A little. Maybe more than a little. Poe kept saying that I needed to ‘let off steam.’ I don’t like how they let off steam,” she sniffed a bit, calming down but still obviously upset. 

“Tell me what happened,” he whispered into her hair, she clutched him tighter, head coming to rest on his shoulder. 

“So they finally convinced me to come downstairs to hang out, and it was fun at first. But then they started talking about you. And they started saying such horrible things. And it's not true. And then they started joking about me killing you and I can’t-“ she broke off, another sob rattling through her. Kylo felt the vibrations. He should’ve expected this from them. But Rey was not one of them. She would not want to destroy just so she could win. She would want to help whoever she could. Sometimes he thought she was the only truly kind thing left in the galaxy. 

“We’re on opposite sides, Rey. I’m sure they meant no offense.” 

“They made it sound like it should be so easy to kill you, when all I want is for you to come home,” she held him closer, which at this point he’d thought impossible. 

“They may have a point. The last time any of them saw us together you were cutting my face in two,” he was trying to joke, make the mood lighter somehow, but all she did was cry more. 

“I want to see you. In person. Is there, is there neutral territory somewhere that we can meet on?” She asked in a small voice. Kylo, always so powerless to deny her, nodded. 

“I’ll send you the coordinates tomorrow, but for now you need rest, and maybe some water, goodnight.” 

“Wait, Ben, can you stay? Please? Just for tonight?” 

“Just for tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well thats it for now, but they may finally meet up next chapter! Also have some gratuitous hurt/comfort because I’ve been sad this week.

**Author's Note:**

> That’s all for now. Hopefully I’ll be able to continue this shortly, starting with a chapter from Rey’s point of view!


End file.
